she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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