I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
