hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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