I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
