I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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