I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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