He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
