Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
