I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
