why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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