I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
