the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
