I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
