soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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