I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize