i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
