girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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