she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
