the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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