O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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