He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We have started to decorate penises.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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