Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
