Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
