We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
