u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
