"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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