i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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