I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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