you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How does one acquire holy water?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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