you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
