Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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