you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
