I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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