whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sober January is a disaster.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
