dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
