I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
