sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
