i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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