so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
