i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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