Non-Jews are for practice
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
