So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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