THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize