Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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