no, he came in my armpit
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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