I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
