do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
