Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
