He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
