We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize