I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
