your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
