This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
