Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
this is an emotional support booty call
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
